Human: “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to tell an actual joke. Remind me.”
Robot: “I am already very funny.”
Human: “Yeah, but… not because you’re good at telling jokes. You’re accidentally funny as a result of your whole… thing. The voice. The deadpan delivery. It’s funny, but it’s not a joke you’re telling.”
Robot: “I do not need to tell jokes. I can always make people laugh when I want them to.”
Human: “That isn’t going to work forever! Eventually it’ll stop being funny when you say chimi—“
Robot: “CHIMICHANGAS.”
Human: “God. Ahahaha. Fuck. Okay, yeah, that’s always going to be hilarious. Still, I think you sh—“
Robot: “CHIMICHANGAS.”
Human: “Stop! I’m—hic!—I’m going to—hic!—I cant breathe! Why do you say it like that?!”
i have a friend that, god love him, doesn’t photograph well. he’s very laid back but the problem is that his resting face looks absolutely fucking furious and he’s started to lean into it. me and my friends have a few group photos that look like this
I had a dream about a version of Snow White where she’s actually like 12 and the dwarves basically adopted her it was basically Snow White and Her 7 Short Dads
When she got poisoned by the Queen the dwarves all gave her one last kiss on the forehead to say goodbye before her funeral and that was the true love’s kiss she needed to wake up, because her dads all loved her very much
Anyway Snow White is public domain so there’s literally nothing stopping me from publishing this
Why does every live action piece of media with a cartoon character have to be ‘more realistic’? First it was Smurfs, then Chipmunks, Pokemon and now Sonic. Like kids are really gonna walk into a theatre and be like “oh the movie is fine, but i don’t 100% believe Sonic is here bc i can’t see his individual pores. I think this movie would be so much better if i could see those in every shot”
We need to start Roger Rabbiting it up again! I’m talking about unabashedly putting a 4ft cartoon character with eyes the size of dinner plates next to a 6ft generic actor and stop being cowards once and for all!
Do Like Nintendo does in their ads:
Look at that tiny technicolor Italian man; he looks so gaudy and out of place! And I love it!
20 year old beginner: one year of learning flute and butterfly knife skillz :)
Fun fact: Adults actually learn those “You need to practice!” skills better than children do.
Kids tend to want to do literally anything aside from learning this skill my parent is forcing me to learn.
Adults actually can sit down and practice things for hours on end. Adults WANT to practice to get their skills better. Adults deliberately set aside time every day to practice. Even if it’s just 20 minutes, it’s productive growth and not wiggling in your chair mournfully watching birds out the window.
Anything from Drawing to Weaving to Violin to fuckin flipping bufferfly knives like a pro - choose a skill and LEARN, dammit! None of that ‘Children’s brains are more malleable’ bullshit. Brain squish is not the end-all of learning!
In response to the NSFW ban being enacted by Tumblr Staff, on December 17th 2018 I propose that we all log off of our Tumblr accounts for 24 hours.
The lack of respect and communication between staff and users is stark. Users have been begging staff to delete the porn bot outbreak, which has plagued the website for well over a year. The porn bots oftentimes send people asks and messages, trying to get them to go to a website full of viruses. They also spam advertisements on others posts.
Users have also begged that Tumblr ban neo-nazis, child porn, and pedophiles, all which run rampant on the site. The site/app got so bad that it was taken off the app store.
However, instead of answering the users, Tumblr has instead taken the liberty to ban all NSFW content, regardless of age. But users have already run into issues of their SFW content being marked as sensitive and being flagged as NSFW, not allowing them to share their work.
Not only does this discriminate again content creators, but it also discriminates against sex workers. Disgustingly, the ban will be enacted on December 17 which is also International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.
This ban is disgusting, and while I (and plenty of others) welcome porn bots and child porn being banned, the Tumblr filtration system is broken. It tags artistic work’s nipples as NSFW (when it is art), it tags SFW art as NSFW (when it is not), and does not stop the porn bots, neo-nazis and dozens of other issues.
This ban is discriminatory. This ban is ineffective. This ban is unacceptable.
To protest, log off of your Tumblr account for the entirety of December 17th. Log off at 12 am EST or 9PM PST and stay off for 24 hours. Don’t post. Don’t log on. Don’t even visit the website. Don’t give them that sweet ad revenue.
Tumblr’s stock has already taken a hard hit. Let’s make it tank. Maybe then they will listen to the users.
The hero shows up at the villain’s doorstep one night. They’re shivering, bleeding, scared. There’s also a slightly dazed look in their eyes– they were drugged. They look like they were assaulted. Looking up at the villain, swaying slightly as they’re close to passing out, they mumble “…didn’t know where else to go…” then collapse into the villain’s arms.
